Same Same But Different

Referring to things which are almost the same, but with slight differences, 'Same Same but Different' is one of the most common phrases in Southeast Asia. In reality, they are usually just flat out differences, but it's much more fun to say, "Same Same but Different." I'm writing this post to address a question I feel I will encounter when returning home. How does  traveling by yourself compare to traveling with someone else? The simple answer is, "Same Same but Different." But that's a very unsatisfying answer. So, since I ain't scurred of my wife, here are the more thoughtful answers.

COMPROMISE

It's an important concept in sustaining any healthy marriage, and it's no different for travel to far off lands. When I traveled alone, I made all the decisions and had no one to answer to but myself. I could go wherever I wanted, stay as long as I desired, and spend my budget how I pleased. Not the same when traveling with Sara. Understandably so, more discussions were needed on itinerary planning, lodging, and budgeting. As a point of reference to anyone who isn't married, I would highly suggest seeking a partner with whom your travel philosophies sync. Truth be told, on this trip, there was very little compromising which needed to be done. We both were game for just about anything, and that openness made for a relatively stress-free trip in terms of destination and activity planning.

Should you not compromise, perhaps your marriage will only be hanging on by a fingernail.

COMPANIONSHIP

Traveling with Sara meant I didn't need to force myself to seek out new friends in every city in order to satisfy my desire for companionship. Even though I've forged many lifelong friendships during my solo travels, it was nice to have Sara as a constant, reliable companion with whom I could laugh and share thoughts. It was also easier breaking the ice and making new friends because of her outgoing nature.

Fancy dress and 'eh' beer are best enjoyed with the one you love.

DOWN DAYS

Travel fatigue is very real. When I was by myself, I could force myself to sightsee even if my body was unwilling. With another person's mental and physical state to consider, there were definitely more rest days than I'm used to taking.

Some of our down days were even spent on airplanes.

SPA DAYS

Women love spa days + Being married to a woman = As many spa days as was fiscally possible.

One of the many, many, many spa days.

AUNT FLO

Certainly cramped our travel style, if ya know what I mean.

LODGING

Since I first started backpacking in 2007, I slept in just about the cheapest place possible every single night. There were times when I slept on the floor of a bank and even on a beach under a boardwalk, just to save a few bucks. On this trip, there were definitely more nights spent in hotels than I've spent during any of my other trips combined. To be fair though, it wasn't as if Sara incessantly demanded posh accommodations. We still spent the majority of the year in hostels, and also spent many nights sleeping in a car while in Iceland, and in a damp, cold tent in Munich during Oktoberfest. It's more that we chose to sacrifice more days on the road for the occasional nice night in a hotel.

I guarantee my past travels didn't take me to a gorgeous lodge in the Serengeti.

SHE CAN RELATE

One of things which disappoints me about my travels is that when I return home, there are very few people who can relate to my experiences. It's hard to explain places like Africa, India, and China to people who haven't been. I was thrilled my parents got to join us on our African safari because they got to experience a bit of the culture which consumed my life for 4 months back in 2012. Likewise with Sara, I'm now married to a woman with whom I've traveled to 5 continents and over 20 countries. Those shared experiences are forever etched in our memories and will help shape our marriage going forward.

HYGIENE

While I'm still entirely convinced of my travel philosophy that there is always someone who smells worse than I do, when your wife is never that person, you had better clean up with more regularity.

She bought aromatic soap EVERYWHERE and made good use of all the free lotion/perfume samples she could find.

EMPATHY

Traveling with someone, whom you love, forces empathy upon you in a way solo travel does not.

PATIENCE

Traveling with someone, whom you love, forces patience upon you in a way solo travel does not.

Should your patience finally wear thin, putting your wife in a cage could be the solution you seek.

NOWHERE TO HIDE

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," is not a phrase which applies to our trip. We were with each other 24/7 for just about the entirety of our 9 months traveling. Imagine spending every waking minute with your spouse for 9 straight months. It wasn't that I didn't want to have guy time, and Sara, girl time. It's that I felt a certain responsibility in ensuring her safety. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself should she have gone out alone and something awful happened to her. We crunched the numbers to see just how much time we spent together compared to how much time we might spend together in a typical year. If you only count waking hours spent together, in our 9 months of travel, we spent 4,032 hours together (16 hrs awake x 7 days/wk x 36 wks). Comparatively, in a typical 12 month period, we would probably only spend 3,484 hours together ((7 hrs/weekday x 5 days x 52 weeks) + (32 hrs/wknd x 52)). That's almost a 600 hour difference or 2 typical married months. So, in 9 months traveling, we spent the equivalent of 14 typical married months together. Sara's reaction to hearing these numbers, "Don't I know it!"

All in all though, when comparing solo travel to Sara travel, essentially it's a 'Same Same but Different' scenario. We went to exotic places, tasted unique foods, met tons of amazing people, and made lifelong memories. While there is something to be said for the freedoms which come with solo travel, I much preferred traveling with Sara than traveling alone. For me, having that constant companionship was a welcome change from the years of solo travel. And because our travel styles meshed really well, I think we both got what we wanted out of the trip....and we're still married. Cheers to us.